Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
