I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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