flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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