**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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