there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
