We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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