I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
