She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
