the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
