Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
