He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
