I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
