id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
