Me too!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
