my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Randomize
