check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
