I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
