I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
