Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
how does that bad decision feel?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize