should my penis look like a turkey
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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