Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Small penises have feelings too.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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