dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
