Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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