5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
