and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
