This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
last night I used snow as a chaser
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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