Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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