Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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