Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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