i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
