Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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