yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
