question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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