im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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