so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
