if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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