At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My liver just had a heart attack.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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