Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize