Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think my moral compass just broke
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
