Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
