Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
