I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
