So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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