your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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