Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
