; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
