How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
