I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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