well you can't waste a boner
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
