Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
