y did u give ur computer a hand job?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
