goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
