Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
