Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
