so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
