At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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