How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
