My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
