you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
