Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
