honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
