I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
