I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
