I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
