what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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