im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
