last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize