Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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